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Charming is a word that has different meanings for different people. The word charisma is often brought to mind. When you think of someone as charming, you may feel that person is desirable and delightful, pleasant and appealing, maybe even magnetizing.
Often times you won’t be able to put your finger on exactly what draws you to that person. You just know you feel pleasant in their company and enjoy being around them.
Do you want to be more like that? Could you advance your career if you learned how to turn on the charm when dealing with others? It’s an important skill that socially graceful people use to improve their relationships. Even when interacting with people they don’t necessarily like or respect, a charming person can leave a good impression.
If you’d like to communicate more effectively and have people refer to you as charming and likable, there’s one very simple thing you need to start doing. By the way, this doesn’t take much practice. You are already physically hardwired to give off a more friendly, charming, and engaging vibe.
You just have to do a little basic math.
How Many Ears Do You Have? How Many Mouths?
Don’t worry. You don’t have to break out the calculator here. Just perform a simple math-based assumption.
- You have 2 ears that are always open.
- You only have 1 mouth, and it can be closed.
That should tell you what you were created to do more often. You should be listening much more than talking. The charming person is an excellent listener.
She doesn’t do it falsely. She asks many questions and uses facial expressions to show she’s interested in the person talking. She listens deeply and can repeat things that have been told to her. Those are charming qualities.
As writer Eugene O’Neill stated …
“We were given mouths that close and ears that don’t … that should tell us something.”
Ancient philosopher Epictetus gave us the same lesson for being more charming.
“We have two ears and one mouth, so we can listen twice as much as we speak.”
Being Charming Is All About Listening
Talking is an important part of being charming. You have to say the right things. You should also be genuine. People can tell when you’re false and trying to manipulate them. So really care about the person you’re talking to. Say pleasant things and think about the experience for the other person rather than yourself.
Then listen deeply. Get into the conversation, so when you decide to talk, you repeat things the person has said. You let them know you’re truly listening and getting into the feelings and emotions being relayed. You were given two ears and only one mouth, and that mouth can close. So do at least two times more listening than talking if you want to be more charming and engaging.